Pt. 1 Ch. 6 - Page 20
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Author Notes

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MistakeNPotatoes
29th Jul 2016, 10:30 AM

Yaaay backgrounds. This gave me a lot more trouble than I thought it would, but I'm mostly okay with how it came out.

But hey, the plot moves forward! :D

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Taily
29th Jul 2016, 10:38 AM

omg at least sales went up for the poor bartender!!

GREAT background here, those textures are really coming through in the most nicest way!!

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asdf
29th Jul 2016, 10:42 AM

Uhh... Was this page supposed to come before the last one, or why are we at the tavern again?
Or was that someone else on the previous page?
Otherwise I don't quite follow.

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MistakeNPotatoes
29th Jul 2016, 11:02 AM

Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to confuse :I

These small panels are recollections, I probably should have put an overlay or something that takes it outside of current reality or something. Hm - potential edit coming!

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Holodrum
2nd Aug 2016, 10:26 AM

Awesome view, minor nitpick.

If you do end up editing this page, there's one minor critique I have. But feel free to ignore this if you don't feel it's warranted.

All of the detail you've added to this world-view is gorgeous and really shows a lot of dedication, but after the re-cap monologue I'm not sure where Jaunt is on the page.
Since he's in color in the first panel, and silhouetted alone in the second he's easy to spot and my eyes know where to focus easily. But my expectation as a reader would be to have Jaunt on the red bridge near the bottom of the page at the end of the monologue. With so many people in silhouette it feels more like "Where's Waldo" than an end to the page.
If you gave him a splash of color, or included a line about the new robes letting him "get lost in the crowd", so he won't be followed by beings from the bar, it might feel better.

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MistakeNPotatoes
2nd Aug 2016, 2:54 PM

Hey man, anything from you is warranted! You're one of my longest readers :D

I'm actually not certain if he's on the page. I'll see if I can dedicate some time to redoing this one tonight, I'm gonna make three pages this week cause my buffer is starting to deflate (Thanks, conventions!)

I agree, though. It worked in my brain but you guys aren't in my brain (something I'm sure we're all thankful for) so I need to learn from stuff like this :D Shouldn't be too difficult to fix, really.

Thank you!

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AlpineBob
3rd Aug 2016, 12:32 AM

That final panel is a great establishing shot - I figured he had just reached an overlook, and this is his view as he makes his way towards his goal.

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Call Me Tom
29th Jul 2016, 10:42 AM

This page was worth all the pain and trouble it caused you. It's so pretty!

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MadJak91
29th Jul 2016, 10:57 AM

Barkeep might as well legalize fights in there now :D
I am glad you showed Mr. Red Skeleton as well!
Do not lie, Jaunt. You needed to get over your hangover in the alley, lmao!

Judging by the previous page, he is inside the red cave and this is more of a "look back" page?

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MistakeNPotatoes
29th Jul 2016, 11:07 AM

Right? Might be a thing to look into after all!

I like the idea of Jaunt with a hangover XD I might have to write that in somewhere...

You have it right, this is a bit of a catch-up page for "How we got here". I should put an overlay on the mini-panels or something I think.

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HeSerpenty
29th Jul 2016, 6:23 PM

I can see why it gave you trouble. ... but it's worth it cuz it looks great! Really cool world ya got here! Yay back to da mission!

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MistakeNPotatoes
29th Jul 2016, 8:43 PM

Thank you :)

These next couple pages are background insanity so... part of me is hopeful that people are okay with lax backgrounds for a few pages XD

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Travis
29th Jul 2016, 7:28 PM

This is the first time I've noticed the textures in your work. It's great.

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MistakeNPotatoes
29th Jul 2016, 8:45 PM

I used textures in chapters one and two until I kinda "noticed" them and didn't like the way they looked. Starting this chapter (6) I started using them again, but a little differently, and I definitely wanted it to be pretty subtle :)

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Bob Mozark
30th Jul 2016, 7:24 AM

So this excursion was a two-fer. A little R&R and then some investigation. That amulet could be trouble if there are more of them, or it is from a source that is easily accessed by humans.

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MistakeNPotatoes
30th Jul 2016, 8:33 PM

The investigation was the primary goal, but Jaunt's unstable state lead him to some impulse purchase decisions and an impromptu death duel :')

Someone's cranky.

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Epiale
30th Jul 2016, 10:26 AM

The page came out gorgeous.

And at least Jaunt limped away with his dignity and a happy bar.

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MistakeNPotatoes
30th Jul 2016, 8:34 PM

Thank you, Epi!

Haha, yeah, he can probably keep a straight face through a huge amount of pain. He'd probably make a good poker player.

...unlike a certain someone...

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Mgnostic
31st Jul 2016, 9:58 AM

Landscape shots may be a lot of work, but this one helps to establish the atmosphere of the place. I like the way that there is mostly linear architecture and then the salmon colored bridge seems to have been organically grown and spliced on to the existing structure.

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MistakeNPotatoes
31st Jul 2016, 10:16 PM

Honestly I'm just glad that came across - this sort of stuff always looks better in my head, so the fact that it was conveyed makes me really happy :) Thank you so much!

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